And so it is with a heavy heart and an upset stomach that we look back at 2023…
FEBRUARY: In sports, LeBron James sets a new NBA record for points scored, breaking the record previously set by U.S. Rep. George Santos. Major League Baseball spring training gets under way with new rules intended to shorten the game, including breaking ties via “Rock, Paper, Scissors” and the elimination of third base.
MARCH: …Silicon Valley Bank, whose depositors include many super-smart high-tech hedge-fundy individuals, collapses like a cheap lawn chair at a sumo wrestler picnic when the person in charge of managing the bank’s finances accidentally deletes the Quicken file….
The Academy Awards for Best Actor and Best Actress both go to U.S. Rep. George Santos.
JUNE: In other disturbing environmental news, yachtsmen in the Strait of Gibraltar report that orcas have been deliberately attacking, and sometimes sinking, sailboats. What is even more troubling, marine biologists say, is that the orcas are posting videos on TikTok.
OCTOBER: Conflict erupts between two bitter foes, ancient enemies whose intractable hatred for each other has defied all efforts to resolve the historic differences between them: House Republicans and other House Republicans.
NOVEMBER: In entertainment news, the Rolling Stones announce plans for a new tour, to be sponsored — really — by AARP (Official Motto: “AARP! It’s the Last Sound You Make Before You Die”). The venerable rockers will travel to 16 North American cities and perform a three-hour show, including two 45-minute bathroom breaks.
https://www.miamiherald.com/living/liv-columns-blogs/dave-barry/article283068803.html
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