“Every night at home, I take my dog out for a walk, and every night one of my neighbors takes her dog for a walk. Whenever I pass by, I can tell she tightens up. I don’t understand,” he said, exasperated. “She’s met me before, once even with my wife. I’m starting to feel a little insulted.”
I heard the unspoken challenge: Weren’t we women taking this a little too far? Hadn’t he proved to his neighbor that he meant no harm? Come on — he was one of the good guys. I considered sighing in disappointment or bristling in outrage — but before his interruption, he had asked thoughtful questions and even wanted me to elaborate on my answers. He was paying attention. That was an open door, and I chose to walk through it.
“Most of the assaults I have experienced,” I said, “were carried out by men I had known for years, who I had been alone with numerous times: my uncle, my college professor, my doctor.
“They didn’t assault me,” I said, “until they did.”
“Ohhh,” he said, the hackles in his voice softening. “What can I do,” he asked me then, “to make things better?”
Especially significant given:
Women need men to understand the danger they pose to us. At the moment, our country is backsliding. Women are being stripped of our right to bodily autonomy in a way that men would never tolerate and, historically, have never had to…. We just elected an adjudicated abuser for president. The clear signal to men: Women are prey. We are still prey. Many men, and even young boys, have heard that message and are now gleefully chanting, “Your body, my choice.”
One woman’s experience: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/men-good-guys-understand-women-assault-empathy_n_6ab7e103e4b07c8d2e68b487. About 1,300 words.
Good news from Fix the News:
In 1989, a project started in Oregon by bunch of self-described ‘anarchist hippies’ started sending mental-health workers and medics, not armed police, to low-risk 911 calls. Today 93 similar programmes run across 31 US states and take about 200,000 calls a year, calling police for backup only 1–3% of the time. Where it’s implemented, the programme cuts police-handled calls by an estimated 23%. Fantastic overview here from our friends at The Progress Network.
And an image from my collection:









