Nobel Prize vs airport security

Among the many changes the Nobel Prize brought to Schmidt’s life: travel hassles. Here’s what he said it’s like to carry a Nobel medal aboard an airplane:

“There are a couple of bizarre things that happen. One of the things you get when you win a Nobel Prize is, well, a Nobel Prize. It’s about that big, that thick [he mimes a disk roughly the size of an Olympic medal], weighs a half a pound, and it’s made of gold.

“When I won this, my grandma, who lives in Fargo, North Dakota, wanted to see it. I was coming around so I decided I’d bring my Nobel Prize. You would think that carrying around a Nobel Prize would be uneventful, and it was uneventful, until I tried to leave Fargo with it, and went through the X-ray machine. I could see they were puzzled. It was in my laptop bag. It’s made of gold, so it absorbs all the X-rays—it’s completely black. And they had never seen anything completely black.

“They’re like, ‘Sir, there’s something in your bag.’

I said, ‘Yes, I think it’s this box.’

They said, ‘What’s in the box?’

I said, ‘a large gold medal,’ as one does.

So they opened it up and they said, ‘What’s it made out of?’

I said, ‘gold.’

And they’re like, ‘Uhhhh. Who gave this to you?’

‘The King of Sweden.’

‘Why did he give this to you?’

‘Because I helped discover the expansion rate of the universe was accelerating.’

At which point, they were beginning to lose their sense of humor. I explained to them it was a Nobel Prize, and their main question was, ‘Why were you in Fargo?’”

Original article: https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/observations/what-it-s-like-to-carry-your-nobel-prize-through-airport-security/.

Capybaras and leather straps

So I was telling someone that in 2020, I’m voting for whatever <my preferred political party> nominates as long as it breaths air and has an internal skeleton. So no fish or insects, but a capybara yes.

It’s amazing how many people do not know what a capybara is.

So I was depressed and it reminded me of Emo Philips’ line, “Some mornings, it’s just not worth chewing through the leather straps.”

More Philips funnies: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nX_EaFBTPE.

All right, capybaras: images and Wikipedia. And a photo article in The Atlantic (so cute!).

(Capybaras also interest me for another reason. Despite their being covered with fur, air-breathing, and bearing their young live, the Catholic Church apparently declared them to be a fish and thus edible during Lent, because they spend a lot of time in the water.)

SR-71 Blackbird

This is an old story about an amazing piece of technology:

There were a lot of things we couldn’t do in an SR-71, but we were the fastest guys on the block and loved reminding our fellow aviators of this fact. People often asked us if, because of this fact, it was fun to fly the jet. Fun would not be the first word I would use to describe flying this plane. Intense, maybe. Even cerebral. But there was one day in our Sled experience when we would have to say that it was pure fun to be the fastest guys out there, at least for a moment…

https://oppositelock.kinja.com/favorite-sr-71-story-1079127041

Swami Beyondananda’s State of the Universe

Funny and wise, the Swami pontificates on the State of the Universe. Excerpt:

The upwising continued to gather esteem in 2010, and the irony curtain is becoming more and more transparent. Wikileaks emerged to challenge our official media, Weaky-Licks, to help end the other don’t ask, don’t tell policy — that’s where the American people promise not to ask what the government is doing to keep them safe, and the government promises not to tell them. When the people choose to not see what is too uncomfortable to look at, the inevitable result is Not-Seeism.

The link below contains the 2011, 2012, and 2013 State of the Universes. The Funny Times also prints them annually.

https://wakeuplaughing.com/beyondanews.php

Dave Barry Year in Review 2018

Dave Barry finds things to laugh about (!) from 2018:

In youth fads, the American Association of Poison Control Centers continues to receive reports of young people suffering ill effects from eating Tide detergent pods. Asked to explain why young people would persist in eating something that tastes terrible and makes them sick, an AAPCC spokesperson says, “As far as we can determine, it’s because they’re stupid.”

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/magazine/wp/2018/12/30/feature/dave-barrys-year-in-review-2018