Dave Barry Year in Review 2021

Is there anything positive we can say about 2021?

Yes. We can say that it was marginally better than 2020.

Granted, this is not high praise. It’s like saying that somebody is marginally nicer than Hitler. But it’s something.

What was better about 2021? For one thing, people finally emerged from their isolated pandemic cocoons and started connecting with others. Granted, the vast majority of the people who connected with us this year wanted to discuss our car’s extended warranty. But still.

(…)

March: International shipping is seriously disrupted when the Suez Canal is blocked by a massive container ship that became wedged sideways after the pilot attempted to take a shortcut suggested by Waze.
December: ​In other economic news, investors are alarmed when the Federal Reserve Board issues a formal statement declaring that it has no earthly idea what a “bitcoin” is, and it’s pretty sure nobody else does either.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/magazine/2021/12/26/dave-barrys-year-review-2021/

From the internet (2014)

I save interesting sayings that I find on the internet. Here are some from 2014 but which still make me laugh… or learn:

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Metaluna on Ars Technica wrote about a new browser:

The current trend among many companies is to name applications with a pithy, excessively minimalist name that is related to what people do with the program. For example “Word” or “Pages” because people use those apps to write and display words and pages. Or “Numbers” because a spreadsheet is used to crunch and display numbers, etc.

In that spirit, I propose that the new browser be called “Boobs”.

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Lewis’ Law: “The comments on any article about feminism justify feminism.”

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Steampunk: what the past would look like if the future had arrived earlier.

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Derek Lowe writes an occasional blog on chemistry called…

Things I Won’t Work With

…But I have to admit, I’d never thought much about the next analog of hydrogen peroxide. Instead of having two oxygens in there, why not three: HOOOH? Indeed, why not? This is a general principle that can be extended to many other similar situations. Instead of being locked in a self-storage unit with two rabid wolverines, why not three? Instead of having two liters of pyridine poured down your trousers, why not three?

https://www.science.org/content/blog-post/things-i-won-t-work-peroxide-peroxides

And more:

https://www.science.org/topic/blog-category/things-i-wont-work-with

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Terry Pratchett quotes:

“The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.” – Equal Rites (1987)

“So much universe, and so little time.” – The Last Hero (2001)

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.” – A Hat Full of Sky (2004)

“Evolution was far more thrilling to me than the biblical account. Who would not rather be a rising ape than a falling angel?” – in a 2008 interview.

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von Braun reportedly said “Late to bed, early to rise, work like hell – and advertise” so underscoring the importance of PR.

No time to die

An in-depth analysis of James Bond’s exposure to infectious agents

We examined adherence to international travel advice during the 86 international journeys that James Bond was observed to undertake in feature films spanning 1962–2021. Scrutinizing these missions involved ∼3113 min of evening hours per author that could easily have been spent on more pressing societal issues. We uncovered above-average sexual activity, often without sufficient time for an exchange of sexual history, with a remarkably high mortality among Bond’s sexual partners (27.1; 95% confidence interval 16.4–40.3).

Original article: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1477893921002167. It has sections:

1. Nightfall: sexual health

2. The man with the golden gut: food safety and infections

3. A flu to a kill: air and droplet borne diseases

4. The fly who loved me: arthropod-borne diseases

5. Dr nope: other vector borne diseases and neglected tropical diseases

6. Tomorrow in the skies: the problem of poor travel preparation

Also reviewed in Ars Technica: https://arstechnica.com/science/2021/10/you-only-live-once-epidemiologists-analyze-health-risks-in-all-the-james-bond-films/.

Funding

There was no specific funding for this project. Given the futility of its academic value, this is deemed entirely appropriate by all authors.

Otterly adorable

Singapore cleaned up its pollution problems and they get a so-cute reward!

Pollution and deforestation drove away Singapore’s otter population in the 1970s. But as the country cleaned up its waters and reforested land in recent years, otters came back in full force, integrating into urban spaces and learning to navigate one of the world’s most cosmopolitan cities. Today, to the chagrin of some and the joy of others, the island is home to more than 10 otter romps, or families.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/asia_pacific/singapore-otters-wildlife/2021/10/22/9e85c3ac-2afd-11ec-b17d-985c186de338_story.html

Funny and fascinating photos

This site could easily suck up hours of your time…

Check out the “2020 Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards finalists”: https://www.boredpanda.com/comedy-wildlife-photography-contest-2020-finalist/.

Comedy-Wildlife-Photography-Contest-2020-Finalist
“Talk to the foot, ’cause the ears aren’t listening.”

Also amusing / interesting / fascinating photos: https://www.boredpanda.com/fascinating-rarely-seen-things/.

We Got These Giant Screws In At Work Today For Mounting Solar Panels
Solar panel mounting screw. Zounds!

Florida man explains Florida man

Yes, my native state is famous for producing headlines like these:

Florida couple “trapped” in unlocked closet for two days

Boyd Corbin, Once Arrested for Fighting a Drag Queen With a Tiki Torch, Runs for Wilton Manors Mayor

Florida man arrested for tossing alligator into Wendy’s drive-thru window

Now look, I know crazy happens everywhere. But crazy is to Florida what snow is to Alaska — we get a damn sight more of it than most states.

Details: https://medium.com/thinkpiece-magazine/florida-man-explains-why-florida-is-insane-f466d6bc589.

Walmart Wine

BENTONVILLE, ARKANSAS

Walmart customers will soon be able to sample a new discount item–Walmart’s own brand of wine. The world’s largest retail chain is teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of Modesto, California, to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2 – $5 range.

While wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Walmart brand wine into their shopping carts, “There is a large market for cheap wine,” said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at R. Williams University in Bristol, R.I. “The right name is definitely important.”

So, here we go…The TOP 12 suggested names for Walmart Wine…

12) Chateau Traileur Parc

11) White Trashfindel

10) Big Red Gulp

9) Grape Expectations

8) Domaine Wal-Mart “Merde du Pays”

7) NASCARbernet

6) Chef Boyardeaux

5) Peanut Noir

4) Chateau des Moines

3) I Can’t Believe It’s Not Vinegar!

2) World Championship Riesling

And the # 1 suggested name for Walmart Wine…

1) Nasti Spumante

(This is all over the net in slightly different forms. The above is from https://jokeoftheday.wordpress.com/2006/07/30/joke-of-the-day-for-wine-connoiseurs/.)