Category: Funny

Laugh links

Eric Idle: I Survived Cancer. It’s a Funny Story.

Pancreatic cancer is usually fatal. Eric Idle, of Monty Python fame, was very lucky — his was discovered by accident, very early, during a preventive medicine MRI. On the day of the surgery:

I drive myself to Cedars-Sinai before dawn to check in. It has been decided I will use a pseudonym. To keep away the tabloids. I wonder if the tabloids are at all interested in me, but still, it will be safer, they insist. However, what name to choose? I can’t think. I finally settle on Mr. Cheeky. Of course the name of the character in The Life of Brian who sings, “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.”

It’s fine until I hear someone calling this name at check-in.

Everyone looks up.

“Mr. Cheeky,” they repeat loudly.

“Oh sh-t, that’s me.”

Good thing I didn’t choose Biggus Dickus.

https://time.com/6215318/eric-idle-pancreatic-cancer/. About 2,700 words and funny throughout. Idle has set up a fund to fight pancreatic cancer, Bright Side Fund at Stand Up To Cancer.

Missed movie jokes

Time for something a little lighter. Here’s 22 people admitting that they missed a joke in a movie and only figured it out years later. For example:

When describing Austin Power’s ‘Mojo,’ Dr. Evil has a line like, ‘What the French call a certain… I don’t know what.’ I always thought the joke was that Dr. Evil was just being stupid. I didn’t learn until much later in life that this is the literal definition of ‘Je ne sais quoi.’ Upon a recent rewatch, that was probably my favorite joke in the entire franchise.

See them at https://www.buzzfeed.com/alliehayes/movies-jokes-people-missed-reddit.

Guy secrets

Fast and funny. I can’t (or won’t) vouch for all twenty of these, but, for example:

7. “We don’t want to tell you certain things are worrying us because we do not want you to worry too. Now there are just two people worrying, whereas before, one was worrying, and the other was happy, which is a reminder to us not to worry so much.”

14. “If it looks like I’m ignoring you, I’m probably just so deep in thought that I forgot I actually exist.”

https://www.buzzfeed.com/fabianabuontempo/guy-secrets-girls-dont-know-about

From the internet (2015)

I save interesting sayings that I find on the internet. Here are some from 2015 but which still make me laugh… or learn:

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(Still Drinking, http://www.stilldrinking.org/god-s-not-dead-a-film-student-s-review):

“Don’t try to be clever. Just tell the truth.” I am absolutely behind this extremely reusable piece of advice that works in any context outside of politics, job interviews, and first dates.

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An article in Ars Technica:

New neural implant reads a person’s intentions to control robotic arm

“Erik Sorto, 34, has been paralysed from the neck down for the past 13 years. However, thanks to a ground-breaking clinical trial, he has been able to smoothly drink a bottle of beer using a robotic arm controlled with a brain implant.”

And one of the comments:

I admire this man’s priorities.

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A Grand Master was talking to another GM at the chess club.

“I played an anonymous opponent online last night. He was good, I think it was God.”
The other GM replied, “God? Really? You think God plays anonymous chess online?”
“Yes, He was really good.”
“Maybe it was Carlsen, he’s played anonymously before.”
“No, He wasn’t that good.”

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QA Engineer walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 999999999 beers. Orders a lizard. Orders -1 beers. Orders a sfdeljknesv.

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Article title in The Register, 9/2015, which made me create an account there:

MAMMOTH MAMMOTH fossil find with BONUS BISON BONE BONANZA

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Karen Ravn (via Ad Astra):

Only as high as I reach can I grow,
only as far as I seek can I go.
Only as deep as I look can I see,
only as much as I dream can I be.

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Personally, I’ve been hearing all my life about the Serious Philosophical Issues posed by life extension, and my attitude has always been that I’m willing to grapple with those issues for as many centuries as it takes. – Patrick Hayden.

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I was not born with enough palms to place over my face.

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Not my circus, not my monkey.

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Perfectionism is a failure to optimize across a complex goal space.

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And when I had a boss who insisted on making everything far more complicated than it needed to be, I came up with this:

When all you have is a hammer with three heads, everything looks like three nails.